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For decades, researchers have studied child language brokering—the phenomenon where children translate adult conversations, documents, and decisions for their families. Most of this research focuses on immigrant households, where children translate for parents navigating systems in a new language. But there is a population hiding in plain sight. Codas—Children of Deaf Adults—have been doing this […]

What People and Professionals Need to Know Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT Dinner Table Syndrome (DTS) describes the experience of being physically present but excluded from family communication because others do not use accessible language (e.g., ASL). Deaf children and Deaf adults often sit at a table where conversations happen around them — not […]

When we talk about human connection, we often think of empathy — our ability to understand how someone else feels. But underneath empathy lies something even more fundamental: Theory of Mind (ToM). It’s our brain’s ability to recognize that other people have thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are separate from our own. For most hearing […]

By Joy Plote, LPC, CI/CT – Licensed Counselor, Interpreter, and Coda Love is supposed to be shared in conversation, laughter, and connection. But what happens when communication itself becomes the barrier? For many Deaf and hard-of-hearing people, love has always lived just out of reach — around the dinner table. What Is Dinner Table Syndrome? […]

“You have the right to exist and take up space in the world.”That sentence alone has changed lives. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), assertiveness isn’t about being loud or demanding—it’s about balance. It’s learning to honor your truth without harming someone else’s. For many of us raised in families or systems where speaking up felt […]

A reflection on the deepest human need — to be understood. I have spent my life in the Deaf community — living, working, and loving within it. I’ve seen the pain that silence leaves behind, the kind that has nothing to do with sound and everything to do with separation. Over and over, I’ve watched […]

Joy Plote, LPC, CCTS I&F, CI/CT When we talk about trauma-informed care, we often think about how we approach individuals in therapy, education, or crisis settings. But what happens when we enter a community where trauma is not just personal—but collective, cultural, and linguistic? For many Deaf individuals, trauma is not just about one event. […]

PTSD doesn’t just live in the mind—it shows up in the body, emotions, and behavior in ways that can be confusing or misunderstood. Many trauma survivors are told they’re “overreacting,” “too sensitive,” or “unmotivated.” In truth, their nervous systems are doing everything possible to stay safe. Understanding these behavioral impacts helps us replace judgment with […]

When someone goes through a traumatic event, one of the hardest parts of recovery can be the idea of telling the story over and over again. Many people don’t want to relive the details. They don’t want to explain what happened. They just want one thing: to stop feeling the way they feel. This is […]

Trauma leaves deep imprints, but for some, the effects are more layered and enduring than what is typically described in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). That’s where Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) comes in—a newer diagnosis that helps us better understand the impact of prolonged or repeated trauma. What is CPTSD? CPTSD was officially included in […]

The experience of Children of Deaf Adults (Coda) is often misunderstood or dismissed, both by the Deaf community and the hearing world. While they are frequently labeled as “hearing,” Codas experience a cultural and emotional reality that is deeply shaped by their unique upbringing in a bicultural, bilingual environment. This complex identity, formed between Deaf […]

You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired for Survival If you’ve lived through trauma, you’ve probably found yourself wondering, “Why do I always think the worst?”, “Why can’t I believe good things about myself?”, or “Why do I blame myself for everything?” The answer often lies in something called cognitive distortions—automatic, distorted ways of thinking that helped you […]

By Joy Plote, LPC, CI/CT Imagine being handed a contract in your second language, one that you were never given full access to as a child. Imagine being expected to read it, understand it, and sign it—without ever being offered the chance to have it explained in your native language. For many Deaf individuals who […]

In life, we all face adversity in one form or another—whether it’s a personal loss, a career setback, or a challenging relationship. During tough times, it’s easy to become fixated on what we’ve lost: a job, a loved one, a dream, or even our sense of self. But what if we chose to focus on […]

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the perpetrator seeks to make the victim doubt their perceptions, memories, and sanity. Whether experienced in personal relationships, at work, or within the family, it can leave deep emotional scars. Healing from gaslighting is essential to reclaim your sense of self and regain control over your life. […]

By Joy Plote, Coda Counselor | The Space Between Most people think abuse looks like yelling, hitting, or cruel words. But what happens when someone stays quiet for years… until one day, they finally explode? In the Deaf community, that explosion is often misunderstood. What if the person being labeled as “abusive” is actually reacting […]

What do you believe drives the course of your life? Is it your effort and decisions — or is it luck, fate, or what others do to you? This belief is called locus of control, and it has a powerful impact on how we heal, grow, and show up in the world. So, what is […]

Trauma bonding refers to the intense emotional connection that develops between an individual and someone who is abusive, exploitative, or manipulative. These bonds are often created and reinforced through cycles of abuse, where moments of harm are interspersed with periods of kindness, affection, or remorse. This pattern creates confusion and a deep attachment to the […]

Intergenerational trauma does not exist in isolation—it is deeply rooted in the choices, struggles, and dynamics passed down through families. For Codas (Children of Deaf Adults), the legacy of educational and linguistic decisions made by our hearing grandparents has profoundly shaped our lives. Yet, our experiences are often dismissed or undervalued in conversations about Deaf […]